


don't give up (because you are loved)

by SaraJaye



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying Keith (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Insecurity, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Loneliness, M/M, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 18:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: Deep down, he's still afraid even the ones who love him will get sick of him, just like everyone else.





	don't give up (because you are loved)

**Author's Note:**

> _Any, Any, Tired of being hurt._

When it comes down to it, he's never fit in with _anyone._ He didn't know how to make friends in grade school, he'd been thrown out of the one place he might have done well because he couldn't control his temper, and anyone who'd known his father couldn't believe such a surly little brat could be related to a saint of a man.

Finding out he was Galra just made it worse. His heritage set him apart from the rest of the paladins, and when he tried to get in touch with his roots in Blade or Marmora, he'd learned too much from his time as a paladin to get _that_ right. No matter what he did, he'd end up disappointing someone, and eventually they'd just turn their backs on him. Why wouldn't they? If his own mother didn't even want him, what was stopping anyone else from declaring themselves so done with him?

He's a reject, plain and simple. Even the person who'd sworn he'd never give up on him is angry, tired of his bullshit, and sooner or later he'll realize he's been wasting his time.

This planet is dark and dreary, the first one they've landed on that has rain. He walks aimlessly through that rain, letting it soak through his clothes, into his body. Maybe if he gets cold enough he'll eventually be numb to all the rejection.

Maybe he'll never feel again.

_I'm sorry. I'll never be what anyone needs me to be, I can't do anything right. I can't take this, I should've never taken my walls down. What good's opening up if all I do is hurt other people and get hurt in return?_

He can't tell the rain from the tears sliding down his cheeks beyond the salty taste of the latter.

"Keith!"

It doesn't do him any good to keep walking. He's tired, he's achy, and Shiro's legs are longer than his. Normally, seeing Shiro would make him feel better, but remembering their argument earlier makes him feel sick and anxious at the sound of his voice.

"Keith," Shiro repeats, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, come back inside before you freeze in this."

"I don't belong in there. I don't belong with you, or the others, or the Blade." He wipes his face on his soaked sleeve. "All I've done is fuck everything up. I ruined the mission, I ruined the shows, everyone hates me and I don't blame them." His voice shakes. " _You_ hate me, don't you?"

He's pulled into a tight hug before he even finishes his sentence.

"I could never, _ever_ hate you, and don't ever let me hear you suggest that again." Shiro's warm despite his own jacket not being the most waterproof, and Keith can't help leaning against him. "Look, I'm sorry. I should've been a little less harsh with you."

"Why? You were right. I've let the team down, I'm not worthy of being a paladin, much less the leader."

"Don't talk like that," Shiro murmurs, "you are, and nobody would disagree with me. Being upset with you doesn't mean they hate you."

"They should." Keith shivers, pressing his face against Shiro's shoulder. " _I_ hate me."

"Keith..."

"I'm just so _tired_ ," he manages, before the intensity of his pain becomes too much and he dissolves in sobs. Shiro's arms tighten around him, and he lets himself feel warm and safe, at least physically. He hates feeling so empty and alone, like he doesn't deserve to be loved when it's all he's ever wanted. He hates knowing he's screwed up so many chances for friendship in the past because he was just too damn afraid of being hurt. He hates being afraid all the time, hates feeling vulnerable.

But he loves Shiro, and he loves his teammates.

It scares him.

When his sobs die down, Shiro's lifting him up and carrying him back to the castleship. Keith's too exhausted to protest, instead pressing his face against Shiro's shoulder.

"I promised you once I'd never give up on you, and that promise still holds," Shiro whispers. "No matter how frustrated I get, I'll never, ever stop caring about you." And somehow, this affirmation is enough to melt some of his self-hatred.

Once they're inside, everyone's waiting for them with worried faces. They murmur his name, ask if he's okay; hearing the concern and love in their voices is overwhelming, but it's enough to ease the rest of his pain.

"He'll be fine," Shiro whispers. "Come on, Keith, you need to change into some dry clothes."

When he's warm, dry, and bundled into his Altean-issue pajamas and a soft blanket, he rests in Shiro's arms. The others surround him, offering apologies that Keith brushes off.

" _I'm_ sorry I've been so unreliable lately. And that I worried you."

"Okay, new rule! Starting right now, no more apologies," Lance pipes up. "Look, we're a family. If I tried to count the number of times my family's had fights and made up on my hands, I'd run out of fingers."

"You could use your toes," Hunk offers, and Keith can't help smiling.

"I guess I'm still not used to this whole family thing."

"Well, we're yours," Allura says, "even when you're with the Blade of Marmora."

"It's not easy dividing your time," Pidge adds. "Believe me, I know. Remember, you had to remind me I couldn't just leave the team to find my family? And you were the first one to welcome me back?" Keith nods.

"I guess deep down I always knew I didn't need walls. I just...have a hard time dealing with my feelings. Like I'd rather hate myself and be hated than love other people and worry they'll get sick of me."

"Well, we'll never be sick of you," Pidge says. "And I'm sure the Blade won't, either."

"But if they do, you're free to come and visit us any time," Hunk says cheerfully. "We miss you when you're not around!"

"Especially Shiro." Lance grins, and Keith swears he just saw Shiro blush.

"A-anyway!" Shiro hugs Keith closer. "You don't have any Blade missions anytime soon, right? Stay with us a while." And Keith feels _stupid_ for letting his anxieties and insecurities plant such dumb ideas in his head. What did the past matter compared to the warmth of Shiro's arms, the smiles on everyone's faces, the unspoken love in their words?

It's hard to open up. Feelings are scary. Sometimes he needs a little reminder that he's not alone, and he's grateful to the others for being able to give him that.

"I'd like that."

He sleeps in Shiro's room that night. In his bed, nestled in his arms.

The rain sounds nicer when he's indoors and warm.


End file.
